Go sit on a cactus.
Updated: Jan 24
There was a rainbow this morning.
A big fat one and I could see both ends of it.
And the sun was halfway out.
And it was raining.
Got me thinking.
About stuff we should cancel. #BecauseCancelCulture
I'm not a fan of cancel culture. Not one bit. So, naturally, I'm giving my take on stuff we should cancel.
Food for thought.
That nobody asked for.
Or cares about.
But it's my blog and I like to use this very constructive outlet to keep me from bursting. Makes total sense.
For being such a tiny gal, I tend to be a big pill to swallow. I've tried very very hard to not be who I am. The ratio of wine drunk to words stifled is not a good ratio. And here we are.
Stuff we should cancel:
1. Responding "Lol" when we don't actually "L O L" = laugh out loud.
👆🏼👆🏼 She just texted you "Lol" after you told her something spicy and controversial.
You cannot be serious right now. Why do you care? Why does that matter? "RELAX"...one of my favorites. "You think too much." This is stupid.
Nah. Here's why... BECAUSE. It's ingenuine. It's fake. It's way too easy. It's reinforcing a practice that most of us use all the time and every rep counts. It is pretending to laugh at something you don't think is funny. A lot of times, I have found, people defer to the old "Lol" when they actually disagree with something the other person texted or wrote, but they don't want to say it, or don't have the energy.
I am a HUGE proponent of saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and waiting to say whatever it may be until you've thought it more than once. No take backs.
There'd be a lot less "drunk words sober thoughts" if we made our sober words sober thoughts. Think about this. Take a second...more than 1 would be better... How much different the world would be, how much drama we'd be free from, how many nights of sleep lost or relationships or hurt feelings if we ALL practiced SAYING what we mean. If we all made a collective effort to mean what we say, to instead learn with time how to express what we truly think and feel, tactfully, instead of lying, saying nothing, just agreeing to agree, or fake texting. I assure you, that with practice, learning (there are actually books about this skill), you CAN say what you mean, mean what you say, communicate how you TRULY feel, and it feels like FREEDOM. The other side of this sword, is that... WARNING: OPINION: is that a lot of times, we don't want to say how we really feel, what we really think, because we are that scared of people leaving us, hating us, lashing out at us, excluding us, withholding material things that we need from them or we don't want to put out our true selves to "other people." Not saying what is true about yourself, how you think, and how you feel is a misrepresentation of who you are... and I promise you... this is a sure path to getting you into situations, jobs, relationships, predicaments that you don't actually want to be in. Avoidance behavior. Avoidance of reality. Avoidance of being wrong. Avoidance behavior. Like anything else, there's a time and a place for it... but I don't recommend making it a lifestyle.
End of Opinion. Also"Lol"... is asymmetrical. It doesn't look cute. Big L little l *shiver*. It itches my Type A.
So it's "lol" if you're like me and you turned off the auto-capitalization feature on ya phone.
2. Telling people "good luck" for almost all things they set out to do.
Trying out for a team. A job. Giving a speech. A performance. Going on a date. Etc!
What is luck?
"luck /lək/ Learn to pronounce
noun noun: luck
success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions." (2)
Another opinion: Luck is applicable in very few situations.
Contests that don't involve any mental or physical skill. Raffles (unless you know the person pulling your name out the pile). Finding cash money on the ground. An item you really want being on sale the day you start to shop for it.
Totally by chance. Has nothing to do with YOUR abilities, your skills, your choices, your preferences, your prior efforts, your wisdom, your experience... Think about it. How often, under these parameters, have the things in your life occurred as a result of LUCK?
When I am trying out for a team... I don't need luck. I need concentration, skill, coordination, to be calm and collected, and to execute. Nothing about that is luck. It's all me.
When I am interviewing for a job... I don't need luck. I need to make an educated guess that the job I am trying for is both right for me and me for it, be calm, represent myself honestly and accurately, communicate my value, dress well, be on time. Nothing about that is luck.
True story... when I am GETTING MARRIED... I do not need you to wish me "good luck"!!
Ima tell that leprechaun straight up go sit on a cactus!
LOLLLL I'm wheeze LOL'ing as I type that... real life people wished me "good luck with your wedding!" or wrote "good luck!" in congratulatory cards they sent us! Like... multiple people! WTAF! Good luck?!
Lots may argue... genetics are luck. Pretty people (relative term). Athletes. Tall people. Genetics are largely out of our control.
Your parents picked each other, for at least 1 night. >90% of the time this is by choice.
Or, they picked you from a donation bank, and could choose certain features they hoped you might have, or that seem to blend well with 1 parent's genes.
That STILL doesn't guarantee that YOUR genes will pan out in any particular manner!
People are attracted to certain types of people, and they make decisions to enter into a situation with a person they intend to make humans with.
It's not luck that you met somebody.
You chose a person out of billions of people.
Whether in real life or an app.
You chose to be where you were.
You have interests that likely interest the other person or that you can teach them about.
It's just not luck.
I would have never ever met someone at an insect fair or a ComicCon. Nothing wrong with those things, just not where you'll find me.
You see where I'm going with this?
If a kid is an athlete, yes, he or she likely has genetics that support coordination, strength, stamina, retention... but that is only the case sometimes. There are plenty of people that have 2 athlete parents, that can't dribble a basketball if it'll win 'em a million bucks. There are kids whose parents never so much as had a chance at athleticism, who turns out to be an all star! ...And... there are also the phenomenons of determination and hard work...
None of it is good or bad luck... it just is who that person is and how the soup mixed.
Plus, for some, coaching & opportunity can tap into their genetics, to bring them to expression... or not. It's not luck!
This next one piggybacks on "good luck" and yo it GOTTA GO...
3. "Must be nice..."
So bad. Gross. Ew. 1,000x.
I pity the fool that tells me or my husband "must be nice..." about anything we got goin' on. I pity the fool that tells someone that earned everything they have, "must be nice" in my presence. I'm quite skilled at making it awkward...
Fam, I can't emphasize it enough... My life. Your life. Anybody's life... is in the current state it is in 99% by CHOICE.
Your life at this time is the sum of what you are & have been willing to tolerate.
That is not my original profound thought, it's John Gary Bishop's profound, articulated thought. So, actually, your life is way more than 1 choice. An adolescent to adult length of time of a long series of choices.
Don't tell people "Must be nice."
When you say this to someone, whether it be because they take a vacation, they buy a new car or house, they got a boat, a vacation home, a camp, they can travel the world, they make nice money, they look how you wish you could look, they have help that you don't have, they are able to do things you don't do or "can't" do...
What did that person put in, in terms of time, sacrifice, education, good financial decisions, long hours, introspection, self-help or improvement, therapy and not getting in their own way?
What if another person has what "must be nice..." because they are drowning in debt and they hide it well? Is it really that nice? Do you still want what they have?
Are you willing to do the hard things, have self control, be responsible, get educated, spend money to make money... to get the things and experiences that "must be nice...?
In a world where we are rapidly losing real human interaction, connection and getting progressively more out of touch with being able to be "REAL" with people... I encourage you... be the change.
Stop texting "Lol" when you didn't really laugh out loud.